Second Time Around

                           So I literally saw my life flash before my eyes.

I was seventeen, a senior and not to mention pregnant:by the boyfriend no one knew I had. For the most part I was scared, yet excited. At least I would be graduating high school in three months and starting college the following fall..whats the big deal right??

                                              WRONG

THE MINUTE MY PARENTS FOUND OUT THEY FLIPPED OUT…BUT EVENTUALLY THINGS BLEW OVER…ONCE THE FLAME DIED OUT AFTER BEING RE-LIT PLENTY OF TIMES. 

SO…MY PREGNANCY WAS PRETTY UNIQUE, I MEAN FOR MY SENIOR TRIP INSTEAD OF TAKING A TRIP TO THE BAHAMAS OR TO EUROPE WE DECIDED TO GO TRAVELING ALL THROUGH MEXICO AND CENTRAL AMERICA TALK ABOUT A SUMMER VACATION. :) BUT ONCE WE CAME BACK IT WAS ALL DIFFERENT STORY…

I lost my virginity that year. I felt like he earned it lol we both did. Things were different with this boy… The way I have never felt for anyone else. I had decided to graduate a year early with my best friend and I had the perfect boyfriend and staying out of trouble… Life had finally given me a break! :P

NOT QUITE…. I turned 17 in February by march I was pregnant.

Me and Anthony go way back. Back to our middle school days… Lol man we were young. :) funny thing is that even at twelve years old I knew I wanted that boy to be mine. He was on the football team i was a cheerleader. We were both attracted to each other… Too bad neither one of us said anything. I had transferred to stay at the middle school we both attended so when it came down to go to high school he went one way and I went the other. “/ Well about a year later we were reunited at a high school football team but it seemed as if the dream only ended at the same time of the game. :( I still had that crush on him. Well the following year, my sophomore year I screwed up in those dreaded ap classes and ended up in summer school. He had found me on the infamous myspace and gotten my number and we had been chatting on an off for a couple of days prior to summer school… Neither of us mentioning summer school. Well two days later we showed up the same day to summer school. I was shocked bc I was excited to see him not expecting him to be there and he was shocked to see me there bc I have always been advanced in school and ” smart kids didn’t end up in summer school”. We began hanging out more ad spending more time together in an outside of classes. Next thing you know we were official. I wasn’t allowed to date so I’m sure you can imagine how difficult, but more meaningful it was to see each other. My friends and his friends would help us meet up. He would take me places and meet up with me without my parents knowing… I would leave my club meetings to see him… WE HAD FALLEN IN LOVE <3

So… It seems that as far as I can remember I have always been blamed for everyone elses mishaps. I was always the reason why things went wrong from missing the trash to the lights being cut off. It was always my fault. I always seemed to get caught up in the middle of trouble… Like it was my job. I hated being at home. Everything I did was never good enough or didn’t meet the expectations of my family. I come from a very conservative family where speaking up for myself was considered disrespectful and absurd. As I grew older I began to look elsewhere for support and attention, lighten me up to allow my true self to grow. Throughout high school I joined clubs and became a social butterfly so that when I came home it was to have dinner share my highlights of the day and do hmwk and off to bed I was. Ehh I had my fun with boys because I wasn’t looking for anything serious… I planned to wait for the right person before I even thought of taking the next step. Guys came and went buy it seemed as if everyone of them tried to take advantage of me in some sort of way. I became fed up with guys for a while and considered avoiding the whole dating scene for a bit. And then there was Anthony.